Hold the phone, but I’m an independent woman…

Today’s topic was a bit of a difficult one for me, gender roles in Namibia. I’m proud of myself for not leaving the room and taking a breather. I’m not upset that we were given the information, but rather that I literally have to watch everything that I do in order to not bring attention to myself and have men think that I am making advances at them. A simple smile for instance cannot show any teeth to people you do not know (in Damara Nama culture), or it may look like an advance. I cannot wave and say hello to people I pass on the street if I am in a larger town. I cannot stare for a long period of time at men, which yes, sounds a bit odd, but to be honest I tend to drift off and stare at people at random when in thought. I say no fair! I am aware that I tend to be extra friendly when coming into a new community, and have taken pride in this attitude towards new faces, but now I feel like I cannot be myself. Just as any serious Namibia issue I went to the support of fellow Peace Corps Volunteers from past groups that could shed some more light on gender roles and how to alter that “Friendly New American” vibe to a more “Culturally Competent American” vibe. I’m a bit more at ease after speaking to other volunteers who have at least immersed in their community for about 1 or more years.  I’m somewhat confident that in time I too will be able to alter the way I act in my community and not take offense to the changes.

 Also, we were informed that there are passion killings happening within the past few months to a year, which are completely sickening. Furthermore, the title “passion killing” is unfit and sounds as though the killer had so much passion for the victim he had to kill her. I do apologize for this rather emotional post, but goodness it was quite a bit to handle. I asked whether a woman who is fully aware her man is cheating can leave him and feel safe, the answer is no, especially with this wave of “passion killings”. Men are also able to have multiple women throughout Namibia or secret girlfriends as well as have children with other women if his wife is not able to. Can someone say UGH! This is not to assume that all men do this, but the fact that it seems to be an accepted norm really bothers me.

Yes, this was more of a rant post… but I had to do it somewhere.

We did a series of acts that included realistic scenarios that could happen when dealing with opposite gender interactions and had post-discussion in terms of how best to handle the situation as well as what could go wrong.  This activity was helpful, because it visually showed me how quickly an assumed favor can turn into one of those “you scratch my back, I scratch your back” deals that are really a sticky situation to be in…

I am really hoping to deliver a more optimistic post next time….

Has the roller coaster of emotions already begun? Dang, I expected these to start post Pre-Service Training.