Hold the phone, but I’m an independent woman…

Today’s topic was a bit of a difficult one for me, gender roles in Namibia. I’m proud of myself for not leaving the room and taking a breather. I’m not upset that we were given the information, but rather that I literally have to watch everything that I do in order to not bring attention to myself and have men think that I am making advances at them. A simple smile for instance cannot show any teeth to people you do not know (in Damara Nama culture), or it may look like an advance. I cannot wave and say hello to people I pass on the street if I am in a larger town. I cannot stare for a long period of time at men, which yes, sounds a bit odd, but to be honest I tend to drift off and stare at people at random when in thought. I say no fair! I am aware that I tend to be extra friendly when coming into a new community, and have taken pride in this attitude towards new faces, but now I feel like I cannot be myself. Just as any serious Namibia issue I went to the support of fellow Peace Corps Volunteers from past groups that could shed some more light on gender roles and how to alter that “Friendly New American” vibe to a more “Culturally Competent American” vibe. I’m a bit more at ease after speaking to other volunteers who have at least immersed in their community for about 1 or more years.  I’m somewhat confident that in time I too will be able to alter the way I act in my community and not take offense to the changes.

 Also, we were informed that there are passion killings happening within the past few months to a year, which are completely sickening. Furthermore, the title “passion killing” is unfit and sounds as though the killer had so much passion for the victim he had to kill her. I do apologize for this rather emotional post, but goodness it was quite a bit to handle. I asked whether a woman who is fully aware her man is cheating can leave him and feel safe, the answer is no, especially with this wave of “passion killings”. Men are also able to have multiple women throughout Namibia or secret girlfriends as well as have children with other women if his wife is not able to. Can someone say UGH! This is not to assume that all men do this, but the fact that it seems to be an accepted norm really bothers me.

Yes, this was more of a rant post… but I had to do it somewhere.

We did a series of acts that included realistic scenarios that could happen when dealing with opposite gender interactions and had post-discussion in terms of how best to handle the situation as well as what could go wrong.  This activity was helpful, because it visually showed me how quickly an assumed favor can turn into one of those “you scratch my back, I scratch your back” deals that are really a sticky situation to be in…

I am really hoping to deliver a more optimistic post next time….

Has the roller coaster of emotions already begun? Dang, I expected these to start post Pre-Service Training.

Wow almost two weeks since I left C-bus and I haven't cried yet! Not to say I'm overly emotional (I am) but I expected to be sadder than I am. The reason for my lack o' saddness is Namibia has been incredibly welcoming to this American and there is literally nothing I can complain about. Arrival was tiring, but smooth for me... It's got to be because I am such a smooth talker to officials during immigration processes that it'd be shocking if they didn't let me through. We were greeted by the money handler of PC Namibia Karen, Carolina who is our ACPD coordinator or placement liason, and Loise who is the assistant to Dr. Justin and Aunty Kate who are our PCMO or Peace Corps Medical Officers for Namibia.  After collecting our baggage (I'm sure we were judged for being over-materialistic but whateva) we headed out to meet the rest of the clan of greeters and were welcomed by a loud awesome bunch of resource volunteers, S/O to Nicole, Brett, and Alicia for beeing BAMFs! The heat was ridiculous upon arrival, but heck we were all expecting that. 

I could tell everyone was super excited to meet us but I felt a soft wave of saddness among all the PC staff, and this was because of a recent passing of a dearly loved PC volunteer in group 35 who had passed away just a few days prior to our arrival. There is more information on here: http://www.peacecorps.gov/media/forpress/press/2342/ Please send positive vibes and prayers to her family, friends, and PC family and friends! News like this is hard to digest during these difficult times, but hopefully her passing will give all of us a greater push to make a difference during our time in Namibia, just as she had after hearing about her efforts form PC staff and other volunteers. Cheers to Ashley! 

Our first 6 nights in Namibia were near Kakuri Learning Center where we were fed more than enough food and the times there were reminiscent of camp for me with roomates, dining halls, and LOTS of GOSSIPING. We had quite a bit of rain for a few days, but I loved it! Slept the longest when it would rain and the skies were incredible, I could stare up for hours, but didn't for fear I would crack my neck! This time was a good period to get comfortable with Namibia because we were situated in Okahanja, Namibia, which is about an hour from the capital Windhoek, Namibia. We were able to hangout at Rhino's restaurant, which has WI-FI and solid food albeit expensive. 

  Now our Pre-Service Training (PST) classes are quite long, from 7:30am-4:30pm and consist of safety and security sessions, cross-cultural training workshops, HIV/AIDS informational sessions, and language training...there are many other topics, but I'm not going to bore you with the details on that. I was recently placed in the Afrikaans speaking group with four others and I couldn't be more excited to start learning Afrikaans. It is a challenge to say the least, mostly because you have to speak with your throat, which I've never done... But in time I guess I'll get the hang of it ek hoop (I hope). Other than the frustrations of not getting the accent Afrikaans es uitstekende (excellent)! My language trainer is called Aunty Martha and she is the hippest old woman in all of Namibia! I'll have pictures of her in the coming posts, she is quite camera shy!  

I've moved in with my host family for PST and they are super modern, so definitely not what I expected outta my 3 months stay =) I live in the town titled Smarties (yes, named after the delectable candy) known for its vibrant colours! I finally have younger siblings that I can boss around (quite the contrary) 1 host brother who is 11, 1 host sister aged 6 and a baby host sister aged 1. My host brother helps me with homework, my host sister is the head boss of me apparently, though I didn't get this memo until two days ago, and my baby sister who makes it a habit of stealing very expensive personal items from me. I've told her parents my predictions for her future career is of a stunt double in hollywood movies because she has a habit of climbing up furniture and jumping off... 

Yesterday we travelled to Heroes' Acre, which is a memoriam dedicated to all those who faught for Namibia's independence in 1990 and sacrificed their lives for the betterment of Namibia. Heroes' Acre is about 15km from the capital Windhoek and I was increidlby honoured to visit this site, there are 174 tombs, 11 of which actually have the remains of heroes and heroines from 2002 onwards. There are 9 symbolic graves as well. There is also an eternal flame to symbolize the undying spirit of those who were courageous enough to fight for independence. 

The last portion of yesterday was spent at the new Heroes' Museum that had opened just last Thursday. This museum was a bit more visual of the struggle to independence. I was quite touched by these visualizations because a lot of these horrendous acts occured around the time I was born. There were numerous paintings showing quite clearly what had happened to members of SWAPO (South West Africa People's Organization) and other young men not affiliated with SWAPO, women and children. If any villages showed signs of assisting members of SWAPO their houses were burned down and many were killed. 

I have learned a great deal this past week, and I do apologize for not completing my first post ages ago... It's just taken some time to adjust =) Oh, and don't worry, most posts will not be this long... 

Cheers from Namibia! 

Sinthu